So today I took a little trip down (as you may have guessed) Memory Lane. I decided I'd go and look up my first ever account on dA from 5 years ago and take a look at all the stuff that past-me used to think about. (keep in mind that this account was devoted to poetry)

I have only one thing to say to past-me:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! You have some serious issues that I hope to god get sorted out by your 20th birthday else present-me will never forgive myself!!

Seriously! There was sooo much bloody whiny emo shit on there. The number of times I saw "death", "wrist", "blood", "rope" and "gun" written there was UN-BE-LEEEVABLE. Here is an example:

10 - People like people who don’t disappoint

9 - People who are perfect all the time

8 - I have a tendency to fail

7 - I’ll tell you why this is so

6 - I disappoint people

5 - That is my problem

4 - I can’t help it

3 - I don’t try

2 - I just…

1 - Do.

0 - That's why I have to DIEEEEEE!!!!! (<- ok so I made up that last line... but I may as well have written it back then)

And that (if you can believe it) was one of the happier ones.

The one good thing I have to say about past-me was at least they didn't all say the same thing in the same way. I apparently liked to muck about with structure a lot which meant that at least I wasn't boring. It was just the content that bothered me. I found maybe 3 poems with a happy ending amongst the 30ish on there. The only poem I found that I was sort of proud to think I'd written back then was one based on the horror of the Tsunami of 2005(ithink).

So anyway, from now until past-me sorts herself out, we're not talking. She's got 3 weeks before present me turns 20 - that's the deadline.

-ohshit I said "dead"... my god does that mean I still have issues???-

(a very concerned) Jazz

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